Monday, 8 October 2012

Parenting Mistakes #2 : avoid setting your own land mines

Every parents definitely have some little white lies for their kids. It's not a big deal to give white lies in order for us to get away easily or achieve discipline target faster. However, do take a while to apply some logic onto your white lies before you say it out. For example, some Chinese likes to scare their young one by saying, "ah ah, don't cry yaa. Later the abu-ne-ne will come to catch you." or "if you don't behave, I'll call the abu-ne-ne to bring you away". After sometime, they may not believe you and the worst thing is they may ask you, how come this so-called abu-ne-ne never come. I cried for so long the other day, he still yet to appear."

*My experience with Yvaine. She used to cried for hours just for small matter. I lifted up my house phone & pretend calling the security guard. It works for few times. But I do forgot that we get to see the guards like everyday. One day, she told me "I'm not afraid of the security guard. He just waved and smiled at me. He won't catch me." From that day onwards, I completely erased this white lies from my list.

If you know you will not execute the 2nd option, please don't give them as a choice. Like, you say keep the toys & clean up the place if you want to go out. Else, stay at home. You know that you are not going to leave them alone at home but HOW IF they respond "then I'm not going out."

*This happened to me before. I was irritated on how Ian kept his tricycle when he was about 4. I kept telling him, when you are not playing, just push it to a designated corner. One day, I told him in a serious tone, push it to that corner OR I'm giving it away to someone else. He answered me in a firm tone. Ok, mummy. You can give to other boy. =_=|||

So, my little advice here is, put some logic into your white lies. Kids are growing up and you need to always review and update your white lies according to their age. Else, you will turn it into a land mines/mouse trap.

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